The Beauty of a Monster- Chapter One
The Beauty of a
Monster
Prologue
This is a story not just of love and
dreams, but it’s of the hopes for the future of immortal bliss; a future where
you actually have one to grow up to and not just throw it away because you
can’t ever die. This story is of a girl who was so young and full of life but
born to have to give up everything and just suddenly grow up without really
experiencing the youth at hand. It was within the glimpse of an eye in a world
full of the unimaginable that you’d only thought existed in your wildest fairy-tales or more like nightmares where everything changed. Nightmares
seemingly can become your reality but if you really want it to it can eventually
become a fairytale as long as you make the change within ones self. It’s only up
you to make it happen. The soul is a very delicate thing; it can be touched in
ways unthinkable and that soul within you will want to just rage out of control
with passion lust and compassion to become a story of a lifetime and that’s
what this is. But now I’m getting way ahead of myself here, lets go on this
adventure of a roller coaster full of ups, downs and in between's. My name is Aurora Rae Augustine and this is my story.
I’ll
start from the beginning when I was born and around the time I was conceived because
that in itself is a whirlwind and a catastrophe bound to explode…
….it
was a Late December Morning, December 25, 1970
Chapter
One
The cool breeze and the low dark clouds
that whispered things only I could understand always gave me this light inside.
Tree’s moved to the songs of the winds making their presence known. The waters
that were once calm seemed to ripple and play to the tunes aside the trees and
the winds. Everything played its part. With each dark cloud, with each drop of
dew it was like heaven was opening up to me and wanting me to see it all in
different eyes.
I couldn’t put my finger on it, it was
like everything was not okay, but yet it was perfect. It was hard to explain; whenever
I was asked I would laugh about it because the cold gave me comfort that my own
family couldn’t give. It always gave me the feeling that everything was going
to be okay that nothing or no one could ever hurt me. I can’t explain what gave
me those urges when I felt the cold but it just made my life not feel so small
like I ruled the world in one aspect or another. All I wanted to do was go out and scream at the
top of my lungs just because I could and smile.
It
was no wonder out of all the days to be born, I wanted out that day. I dreamed
of the day I’d be able to finally feel and see the cold with my own eyes and
what my life would bring, but I never imagined it’d turn out the way it would
in the end.
I had my mother’s temper and my father’s, whoever
he was, strengths and weaknesses all in one. Their characteristic’s all within
me was just the right amount of juices flowing to make me want out of wherever
I was and become who ever I would be. I couldn’t take being held somewhere and
not being able to do anything. I didn’t understand where I was so it made me
want out even more. I could feel my heart racing my brain racking up inside. I
wanted the cold air hitting my face to bring me a feeling that I belonged. If
not with my family, I belonged somewhere and I longed to be happy. So I knew I
needed to feel it, I needed out now. So after much deliberation I decided today
was the day today I wanted out of here; out of this chamber of god knows what….
and so…I pushed out.
My mother was sleeping and woke up
suddenly in a sweat she knew the feeling wasn’t right. She slipped up out of
bed sitting against the bed panel and grabbed her stomach feeling me trying to push
out of her as her water broke and seeped through the sheets. She wasn’t quite
ready to let go of being pampered so she tried breathing slow and whispered to
me to try to get me to go back to sleep and not yet come out of her but I just
couldn’t take it I needed out, even in her I knew everything she was doing was
wrong. Even I couldn’t understand how I knew but deep down I couldn’t take it
anymore, deep down I had to let go and get out, if it was the last thing I
could do. I was quite smart and I myself didn’t know why it scared me a bit.
Every time she did something bad or evil I could feel it and the way it made me
feel was hurt upset and out of control all these emotions made me sick even
within her.
What she, in herself, was doing to not only me
or her, but to these men around her was wrong and I couldn’t take it. I didn’t
know if they too were either good or bad but I had that gut feeling even if
they too did wrong I’d stop it one way or another. I didn’t care how or when
but someday it’d all be gone and stopped and I would get away from her some way,
some how.
I knew it was the right time because she
was dreaming of both men and dreaming of taking them for all they were worth, one
for their money and the other for his pride and soul. I needed out I was
frightened just as much as either of them would have been. I was ready to grow
up and leave this place because I knew if I stayed id be a goner especially
with her. Now mind you I’m a baby in a womb how could I feel all these emotions
already how could I even imagine what lie would be like, I had to know I had to
find out for myself.
My mother and her lover were just getting
out of bed. She flipped her legs over the bed as he barely opened his eyes. He never
once worried about her being as frail or in this state as she was, he couldn’t
put his heart out there for her to drag out the heartbreak again so he didn’t
concern himself with her mess even when it looked as though she really needed
his help. He just let her do her own thing as he went in and out with his life.
He knew from the start she couldn’t clean her act up but then everything
changed when she got pregnant with me and his feelings towards the child had
grown, but that didn’t change the way he treated her or felt for her as a
person. She was nothing to him or he thought. He couldn’t bring himself to feel
anything towards her but he just knew he had to be a better father than his
own.
She felt sick to her stomach like every
other morning carrying me, but this morning wasn’t like any other. She woke in
a sweat and knew it was time for me to be born because of the water breaking
all over her telling Dustin she needed to go to the hospital. Her lover, my supposed
father, Dustin wasn’t ready for any of this. He had his whole life ahead of him
to even think about being a father. His own father didn’t care about him he
didn’t know how he could care about the baby his whore was having, but he
somewhere in his heart brought himself to the realization of what was in front
of him and ten again all he could think about was that he had a good job, a fiance and he didn’t need this. He wasn’t ready to tell his fiance he was a
father, especially to an ex that he had promised he was going to have nothing
to do with.
When my mom first met Dustin they were teens and
grew up together. They were so much full of life and had a love for each other
that you’d only wish to have like in the movies. As they grew older they became
aware of this love and gave in to it. They had it all and were on top of the
world, but my mom thought she was basically the shit, thinking she could have
anyone and do anyone and basically get away with it. She made the mistake of
cheating and her world came crashing down when it was his own best friend in
which he had told Dustin everything; after that he could never trust her again.
I think that’s where I get my trust issues with this chaotic family. There was
never a care or trust that could make up for the past mistakes.
Throughout
their relationship after that they would fight constantly and he finally
couldn’t take it anymore so he dumped her and found someone new someone who had
it all and made him feel on top of the world himself; but something always drew
him to come back to my mother by the end of the day cheating on his fiance
with her. Which I think is a bit ironic since he did dump my mom for what he’s
doing to the new woman. A yearning like no other bonded them together, but the
happiness they once felt for each other was no longer there. The irony behind
the whole situation never made any sense as I grew up, and I think that’s part
of where I got my attitude from.
He barely had time for my mother and when
he did all they would do is fuck and he’d have to leave by morning to be home
to his fiance; Yea what a winner there mom. But she didn’t care she wanted his
love in any way shape or form. She had loved this man since she was a mere
child. When they split he had found his heart belonged to another and my mom
thought all was lost. She was very pretty and my mom was always jealous that
she couldn’t have him and wanted to call him her own texting and calling him
all the time when he left her.
When he wouldn’t budge in the beginning she
knew she couldn’t win his love back in a sense of him being hers and hers alone
so she too moved on playing the part during the day of having someone else and by
night he was hers just for a good fuck. Even if she too was taken she still
loved him, but alas all she had was a couple nights here and there with him and
he’d continue to go back to his fiance. My mom didn’t care as long as she had
apart in his life or anyone’s for that matter; all she wanted was to feel love
and a belonging somehow even if she was known as the town slut. She knew she
has to have an edge on him so getting pregnant and not knowing who the father was;
was her perfect move she thought she ever made.
Men didn’t care what her status in town
was because she was rather pretty, long black hair eyes that could make the
strongest of men buckle to their knees and wasn’t that bad in bed. I got most
of my looks from my mom I was sure of it, but my attitude and smarts I was sure
I got from whoever my father was. She had a way with men and a way with
herself. She never once looked like she was sluggish; she always made herself
be very sexy with or without having money to do so. She knew the right angles
to play and knew the right moves to bring to the table. At least she was good
for a few things, growing up that is.
They would come in and out of her life these
men; they thought she was theirs and theirs alone but they had it all wrong her
heart was never in it and she always left before they wanted to settle. That’s
until she met Richard something about him she thought was different so she
settled trying to leave that life of being Dustin’s and move on with Richard
but something about Dustin my mom couldn’t let go. Her heart couldn’t bare to think of letting Dustin go. Even though hear
head said Richard was the right choice. They would still fight constantly and
when he learned she bore child he tried to make things work even though she couldn’t
bare to let either him or Richard go.
Richard was
tall pale skinned and had a resemblance to a Hollywood star with curly blonde
hair and blue eyes; I don’t know why my mom ever wanted to cheat on him and go
back to Dustin. Dustin too wasn’t half bad brood shoulders black hair tall as
well and pale skinned with muscles that mom gushed over constantly and a smile
that would light up even the gloomiest of rooms. She would plead
with him constantly to leave the woman for her as she would leave Richard for
him and constantly he would say he would but never did when it came down to it.
They were on again off again lovers. Around the time I was conceived she held
on to both men, and deep down she wanted it to be Dustin’s but knew it could be
Richards too. She told both men I was theirs, and that’s how she reeled them in
to stay. They knew of each other and what past she had with either of them but
never knew behind the scenes she was seeing them both.
Now the thing about Richard, Dustin and my
mom is they weren’t normal. Not even an ounce of normal could be found in any
of them. You see and I know this may come off as a shock as it did me when I was
older, but Dustin was a Vampire. Yup I said it a Vampire. Richard was one of
old lineage born way before any human was even before Dustin. He too was
Vampire but only half he was also Half Werewolf one of the makers of our kind, and
my mom well she came from an old family who were werewolves. All in all a world
full of a whole lot of things that are mixed with one thing or another and just
a whole heap of trouble if you ask me. She loved both men; they in their own
ways had good qualities about them that my mom could bare to dump one for the
other even if she made promises to Dustin that she would leave Richard. When it
came down to it her heart was torn. Both had their lives ahead of them while my
mom’s life stood still. She couldn’t choose one path or another not even her
own. She hated the thought of losing either of them. With me being born in this
world she knew she had a chance with either of them; but hated the fact she had
to bare child to do it. The thought of being a mother of her own killed her,
she never wanted children in fact she always treated anyone’s kids cruelly but
knew I was her meal ticket to a successful love life. Not caring how or what
I’d turn out. She had to have her way even if she could lock me away while she
had her fun with her men. I hated my childhood and my life with her.
As soon as I was conceived things started
looking up for my mother she knew if she had an abortion she wouldn’t be happy
and either men could give up on her and just walk away so she kept me because
when she told both men things changed. Dustin would be over more and Richard
would buy her any and everything. Richard was quite wealthy another reason my
mom didn’t break up with him. But all in all she knew things would look up
until either of them found out about each other and she couldn’t have that. She
swore on my life and hers that she would teach me to keep my mouth shut or
punishment would be at bay. She had to keep on this wheel of lies and rage
until the very end.
On
that morning of December 25 she was rushed to the hospital in ambulance.
Richard was called at his work and he was on his way quicker than you could say
my name. Dustin only called the ambulance and left to his fiance telling my
mom Rachelle that he would be by in the evening to see her. Richard was never
over in the evenings anyways because of his job he was more or less a day man
with my mom. She would joke saying day man is coming or night man is coming to
me. I never got it until now and now I realize what she meant. I was born at 1:04
am December 13; 2010.My name given at that time was Aurora Rae. From that moment nothing was the same.
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