The Beauty of a Monster- Chapter One



                 

                            The Beauty of a Monster


Prologue

      This is a story not just of love and dreams, but it’s of the hopes for the future of immortal bliss; a future where you actually have one to grow up to and not just throw it away because you can’t ever die. This story is of a girl who was so young and full of life but born to have to give up everything and just suddenly grow up without really experiencing the youth at hand. It was within the glimpse of an eye in a world full of the unimaginable that you’d only thought existed in your wildest fairy-tales or more like nightmares where everything changed. Nightmares seemingly can become your reality but if you really want it to it can eventually become a fairytale as long as you make the change within ones self. It’s only up you to make it happen. The soul is a very delicate thing; it can be touched in ways unthinkable and that soul within you will want to just rage out of control with passion lust and compassion to become a story of a lifetime and that’s what this is. But now I’m getting way ahead of myself here, lets go on this adventure of a roller coaster full of ups, downs and in between's. My name is  Aurora Rae Augustine and this is my story.
I’ll start from the beginning when I was born and around the time I was conceived because that in itself is a whirlwind and a catastrophe bound to explode…


….it was a Late December Morning, December 25, 1970


Chapter One
   
    
  It was a cold December Morning December 25, 1970; it was overcast, my favorite kind of weather. Something about the cold has always beckoned me yearning for it like it was the very thing that kept me alive inside. It always made me feel like all my emotions were out of control yet serene; like everything was meant to happen even if I tried to intervene. Everything would somehow come into place and even at the worst of times I would be okay in the end.
     The cool breeze and the low dark clouds that whispered things only I could understand always gave me this light inside. Tree’s moved to the songs of the winds making their presence known. The waters that were once calm seemed to ripple and play to the tunes aside the trees and the winds. Everything played its part. With each dark cloud, with each drop of dew it was like heaven was opening up to me and wanting me to see it all in different eyes.
     I couldn’t put my finger on it, it was like everything was not okay, but yet it was perfect. It was hard to explain; whenever I was asked I would laugh about it because the cold gave me comfort that my own family couldn’t give. It always gave me the feeling that everything was going to be okay that nothing or no one could ever hurt me. I can’t explain what gave me those urges when I felt the cold but it just made my life not feel so small like I ruled the world in one aspect or another. All  I wanted to do was go out and scream at the top of my lungs just because I could and smile.
      It was no wonder out of all the days to be born, I wanted out that day. I dreamed of the day I’d be able to finally feel and see the cold with my own eyes and what my life would bring, but I never imagined it’d turn out the way it would in the end.
     I had my mother’s temper and my father’s, whoever he was, strengths and weaknesses all in one. Their characteristic’s all within me was just the right amount of juices flowing to make me want out of wherever I was and become who ever I would be. I couldn’t take being held somewhere and not being able to do anything. I didn’t understand where I was so it made me want out even more. I could feel my heart racing my brain racking up inside. I wanted the cold air hitting my face to bring me a feeling that I belonged. If not with my family, I belonged somewhere and I longed to be happy. So I knew I needed to feel it, I needed out now. So after much deliberation I decided today was the day today I wanted out of here; out of this chamber of god knows what…. and so…I pushed out.
     My mother was sleeping and woke up suddenly in a sweat she knew the feeling wasn’t right. She slipped up out of bed sitting against the bed panel and grabbed her stomach feeling me trying to push out of her as her water broke and seeped through the sheets. She wasn’t quite ready to let go of being pampered so she tried breathing slow and whispered to me to try to get me to go back to sleep and not yet come out of her but I just couldn’t take it I needed out, even in her I knew everything she was doing was wrong. Even I couldn’t understand how I knew but deep down I couldn’t take it anymore, deep down I had to let go and get out, if it was the last thing I could do. I was quite smart and I myself didn’t know why it scared me a bit. Every time she did something bad or evil I could feel it and the way it made me feel was hurt upset and out of control all these emotions made me sick even within her.
      What she, in herself, was doing to not only me or her, but to these men around her was wrong and I couldn’t take it. I didn’t know if they too were either good or bad but I had that gut feeling even if they too did wrong I’d stop it one way or another. I didn’t care how or when but someday it’d all be gone and stopped and I would get away from her some way, some how.
     I knew it was the right time because she was dreaming of both men and dreaming of taking them for all they were worth, one for their money and the other for his pride and soul. I needed out I was frightened just as much as either of them would have been. I was ready to grow up and leave this place because I knew if I stayed id be a goner especially with her. Now mind you I’m a baby in a womb how could I feel all these emotions already how could I even imagine what lie would be like, I had to know I had to find out for myself.
     My mother and her lover were just getting out of bed. She flipped her legs over the bed as he barely opened his eyes. He never once worried about her being as frail or in this state as she was, he couldn’t put his heart out there for her to drag out the heartbreak again so he didn’t concern himself with her mess even when it looked as though she really needed his help. He just let her do her own thing as he went in and out with his life. He knew from the start she couldn’t clean her act up but then everything changed when she got pregnant with me and his feelings towards the child had grown, but that didn’t change the way he treated her or felt for her as a person. She was nothing to him or he thought. He couldn’t bring himself to feel anything towards her but he just knew he had to be a better father than his own.
     She felt sick to her stomach like every other morning carrying me, but this morning wasn’t like any other. She woke in a sweat and knew it was time for me to be born because of the water breaking all over her telling Dustin she needed to go to the hospital. Her lover, my supposed father, Dustin wasn’t ready for any of this. He had his whole life ahead of him to even think about being a father. His own father didn’t care about him he didn’t know how he could care about the baby his whore was having, but he somewhere in his heart brought himself to the realization of what was in front of him and ten again all he could think about was that he had a good job, a fiance and he didn’t need this. He wasn’t ready to tell his fiance he was a father, especially to an ex that he had promised he was going to have nothing to do with.
      When my mom first met Dustin they were teens and grew up together. They were so much full of life and had a love for each other that you’d only wish to have like in the movies. As they grew older they became aware of this love and gave in to it. They had it all and were on top of the world, but my mom thought she was basically the shit, thinking she could have anyone and do anyone and basically get away with it. She made the mistake of cheating and her world came crashing down when it was his own best friend in which he had told Dustin everything; after that he could never trust her again. I think that’s where I get my trust issues with this chaotic family. There was never a care or trust that could make up for the past mistakes.


      Throughout their relationship after that they would fight constantly and he finally couldn’t take it anymore so he dumped her and found someone new someone who had it all and made him feel on top of the world himself; but something always drew him to come back to my mother by the end of the day cheating on his fiance with her. Which I think is a bit ironic since he did dump my mom for what he’s doing to the new woman. A yearning like no other bonded them together, but the happiness they once felt for each other was no longer there. The irony behind the whole situation never made any sense as I grew up, and I think that’s part of where I got my attitude from.

     He barely had time for my mother and when he did all they would do is fuck and he’d have to leave by morning to be home to his fiance; Yea what a winner there mom. But she didn’t care she wanted his love in any way shape or form. She had loved this man since she was a mere child. When they split he had found his heart belonged to another and my mom thought all was lost. She was very pretty and my mom was always jealous that she couldn’t have him and wanted to call him her own texting and calling him all the time when he left her.
      When he wouldn’t budge in the beginning she knew she couldn’t win his love back in a sense of him being hers and hers alone so she too moved on playing the part during the day of having someone else and by night he was hers just for a good fuck. Even if she too was taken she still loved him, but alas all she had was a couple nights here and there with him and he’d continue to go back to his fiance. My mom didn’t care as long as she had apart in his life or anyone’s for that matter; all she wanted was to feel love and a belonging somehow even if she was known as the town slut. She knew she has to have an edge on him so getting pregnant and not knowing who the father was; was her perfect move she thought she ever made.
      Men didn’t care what her status in town was because she was rather pretty, long black hair eyes that could make the strongest of men buckle to their knees and wasn’t that bad in bed. I got most of my looks from my mom I was sure of it, but my attitude and smarts I was sure I got from whoever my father was. She had a way with men and a way with herself. She never once looked like she was sluggish; she always made herself be very sexy with or without having money to do so. She knew the right angles to play and knew the right moves to bring to the table. At least she was good for a few things, growing up that is.
      They would come in and out of her life these men; they thought she was theirs and theirs alone but they had it all wrong her heart was never in it and she always left before they wanted to settle. That’s until she met Richard something about him she thought was different so she settled trying to leave that life of being Dustin’s and move on with Richard but something about Dustin my mom couldn’t let go. Her heart couldn’t bare to think of letting Dustin go. Even though hear head said Richard was the right choice. They would still fight constantly and when he learned she bore child he tried to make things work even though she couldn’t bare to let either him or Richard go.
     Richard was tall pale skinned and had a resemblance to a Hollywood star with curly blonde hair and blue eyes; I don’t know why my mom ever wanted to cheat on him and go back to Dustin. Dustin too wasn’t half bad brood shoulders black hair tall as well and pale skinned with muscles that mom gushed over constantly and a smile that would light up even the gloomiest of rooms. She would plead with him constantly to leave the woman for her as she would leave Richard for him and constantly he would say he would but never did when it came down to it. They were on again off again lovers. Around the time I was conceived she held on to both men, and deep down she wanted it to be Dustin’s but knew it could be Richards too. She told both men I was theirs, and that’s how she reeled them in to stay. They knew of each other and what past she had with either of them but never knew behind the scenes she was seeing them both. 
           Now the thing about Richard, Dustin and my mom is they weren’t normal. Not even an ounce of normal could be found in any of them. You see and I know this may come off as a shock as it did me when I was older, but Dustin was a Vampire. Yup I said it a Vampire. Richard was one of old lineage born way before any human was even before Dustin. He too was Vampire but only half he was also Half Werewolf one of the makers of our kind, and my mom well she came from an old family who were werewolves. All in all a world full of a whole lot of things that are mixed with one thing or another and just a whole heap of trouble if you ask me. She loved both men; they in their own ways had good qualities about them that my mom could bare to dump one for the other even if she made promises to Dustin that she would leave Richard. When it came down to it her heart was torn. Both had their lives ahead of them while my mom’s life stood still. She couldn’t choose one path or another not even her own. She hated the thought of losing either of them. With me being born in this world she knew she had a chance with either of them; but hated the fact she had to bare child to do it. The thought of being a mother of her own killed her, she never wanted children in fact she always treated anyone’s kids cruelly but knew I was her meal ticket to a successful love life. Not caring how or what I’d turn out. She had to have her way even if she could lock me away while she had her fun with her men. I hated my childhood and my life with her.
     As soon as I was conceived things started looking up for my mother she knew if she had an abortion she wouldn’t be happy and either men could give up on her and just walk away so she kept me because when she told both men things changed. Dustin would be over more and Richard would buy her any and everything. Richard was quite wealthy another reason my mom didn’t break up with him. But all in all she knew things would look up until either of them found out about each other and she couldn’t have that. She swore on my life and hers that she would teach me to keep my mouth shut or punishment would be at bay. She had to keep on this wheel of lies and rage until the very end.
    On that morning of December 25 she was rushed to the hospital in ambulance. Richard was called at his work and he was on his way quicker than you could say my name. Dustin only called the ambulance and left to his fiance telling my mom Rachelle that he would be by in the evening to see her. Richard was never over in the evenings anyways because of his job he was more or less a day man with my mom. She would joke saying day man is coming or night man is coming to me. I never got it until now and now I realize what she meant. I was born at 1:04 am December 13; 2010.My name given at that time was Aurora Rae.  From that moment nothing was the same.
 


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