Chapter 10- #KeepingBusyPartThree- Remi's Story

#KeepingBusyPartThree – when you feel alone, don’t just bottle it up; talk to someone.



After the week I had already had, I felt I needed some time alone. To honor the memory of my father and to prepare what I had to do at his celebration of his life. He had asked in his will I make a speech or something that said he loved and lived his life well, even in death his memory will stay on. But writing down my thoughts paper after piece of paper it always ended up in the trash. So I knew I needed just some time. Some time to gather anything that I could to tell his story

 As people were buzzing around, I stepped out the back porch of the mansion that faced the ocean cliffs. My assistant had taken care of what needed to get done around preparations and so many people were in and out fixing up the stage and party area, I didn’t want to get in the way. Left and right people were talkin’ bout his life, it made me warm and feel so much love people had for him. And when I say I needed out of there, so many people were coming left and right saying they were sorry for me, and my heart just ached in the pain. The hotels surrounding the place were booked to the ends, and people were starting to fill up the R.V. spots around the ocean cliffs preparing to come to the party “Daddy sure made one hell of an impression.” I mumbled to myself. Invitations had been sent out for miles on end, and it felt good to see how many lives he changed. I just wish I could convey that, that my voice would come out but anytime I tried. It was dead silence.

Mom had gotten home the night before, and she knew I was there for her as well as for #Nikko, but  also knew I needed the time, she stepped out wiping her hands on a kitchen towel, nodding “Well there are so many people. The keep bringin’ them casseroles, I might puke.” I laughed as I bit my inner cheek. “Darlin’ there’s absolutely no meat and we need to feed these folks; I didn’t see much in the freezers since people were buying them out left and right at the small store on the corner of main. Would you be a doll and go to the store in the city? But,” She looked down at my leg then back up at me thinking hard at first, I had taken a bad fall on the cliffs when I went out with em. I told them all not to worry but the pain was there.  

“Momma Don’t worry,” I lied as I just shifted the pain in the back of my mind knowing momma needed help. I would work through the pain as always just to make sure she was smiling. “I am fine, I can do it” She nodded not realizing the pain and looked out in the fields, “You think we got some good bucks out there?” “Oh, ya momma, I can find some. I will go get my keys and get ready. Go to your guests. Smile momma, you are a blessing to all of us. More than you realize.” She kissed my head. “Promise me you be careful ya hear? I can’t lose you too.” “Yes ma’am.”

I felt like another reason she wanted me to go was to just get some time to think. She knew I could find the happiest memories with steve would be inside deep down, sometimes a nice drive would clear my mind and my heart. It was our favorite past time to just take drives. Plus, I knew for a fact we had a ton of in the back freezers, as well all that food she kept getting would be more than enough. She knew though, she knew it would relax me. I wasn’t much for big crowds since I was little anyways, even being put through hell and back with high school drama club and their plays.

Only reason I joined was for the credit, and anytime I would try and avoid big parts, but miss popularity I got them anyways. Emerson would always have to calm me down and not throw up before each big gig but anytime there was, I did my all and lucked out with how it turned out.

I smiled and in a skip in my feet headed down the porch stairs toward my car. It was a good walk that I needed anyways, maybe it would help my pain to keep moving.

I skipped along putting my hair under my hat, my hands to my pockets as I finally got to my car. It was hard to count my blessings but this was sure one of them as I smiled. I looked up and saw dads old working barn behind the house and maybe, just maybe I could go inside and see just to get some memoires roaring through me

  It was to the right of the mansion in the very back away from all the guests view so I could have my own space. There was special room I had my hunting gear, my huge mounted elk heads and a place to gut the animals and properly set the animal up for getting the meat and setting up if I wanted them mounted depending if it was a good kill. I also had ways to dispose of the extra meat but mostly the bones. Steve loved doing outdoor activities with me and hunting was one of them, but deep in the California mountains where hunting was legal.

I opened the door; more memories were filled in this room. It was special. My office was hidden in another part of this garage so I could do my work while steve used his office in the mansion, of course have my own space. Dad would always hang with me have his glass of fine whiskey; in fact, a glass still was on my desk. I wasn’t about to move it. That was his spot.

I looked slowly around touching the animals, looking at all his memorable he collected, he was an avid collector of many things. Then came to the door to the huge garage which was double wide, this was his special room.

I sighed, texting momma “there’s meat in the freezer but I am going to check out dads stuff in the garage,” I hit send and opened the door as I found the light switch which lite up over a dozen collector cars, they were beautiful.

My favorite was his convertibles. I opened the door and got in sitting and back as I looked up and closed my eyes, and the words just flowed

“Losing a father is already difficult as it is, so writing this eulogy and preparing an obituary was the last thing on my mind,  But it wouldn’t seem right to let my local newspaper do the writing for me, as obituaries are meant to be more personal in nature. So here I am, this ones for you dad.

Thank you valued guests, loved ones, and beloved family. Today We celebrate Steven Thomas Ryan. The world has lost A beloved husband, devoted Father, and cherished grandfather.  

Steven was born in New York, New York, on April 4th, 1972. He relocated to Los Angelos, California as a teenager with his mother and younger brother. Steven was a skilled football player. But his mother insisted that education always be his priority. He was a starting player for the California State University football team, but his real passion was behind-the-scenes. Steven held a Doctorates of Law and a Master’s of Forbes with the School of business where he got his degree in Human Resources, as well as Organizational Management.

If you asked Steven, his greatest accomplishment wasn’t his business legacy or his career. It was being a father. Steve met his wife Claudia Helm through a mutual friend. It was love at first sight. That love grew to include Claudia’s young daughter Remi. Claudia and Remi called Steve her bonus dad instead of her step-father. Remi formally took his last name when she turned eighteen. Known as Remi Ryan

Dads are the impeccable hero that daughters look up to and never stray off from. Dad’s are the ones who sit at your tea party when no one is around, to remind you to keep going when time is rough.  someone to look up to, someone to follow, someone to admire, someone to be proud of and someone to brag about,, someone to learn from and someone to respect, someone to listen to and someone to talk to, someone to try and impress, sometimes rebel against, and, someone, most of all, with whom to share everything this wonderful life has to offer. They trust, they never doubt and Dad’s are always there when you need to cry and just let it out. “Whispering” wish you were here dad. *I look up and smile as I close my eyes and continue you to speak, letting the words flow*

I am so incredibly grateful and happy that I can stand here today and tell you that I have had all this and much, much more with my dad Steve. I have been blessed to have had Steven as my dad, though he may not have been the one to be my biological father, he was everything one would want in one. To say I loved my dad would be an understatement and  to say  I’m going to miss him would be an even greater understatement.

I cannot begin to imagine not having Dad on the end of a phone or popping around at a moment’s notice to assist, in his ever graceful manner, with any project great or small with which I happen to be needing advice especially when it came to #Nikko, or my job, whatever it was he was truly there and the one to look to

Dad was always there for everyone, family, neighbours, colleagues, or friends. . .

I have known him to drive from Los Angelos to Seattle to spend a weekend helping his friends with some DIY projects at their place and then the following weekend drive across the country to help me with a move or a project in London.  He always seemed to be able to draw upon boundless energy.

He was a very clever man but was never afraid of having a laugh at his own expense.  He could help you with a complex business problem or just as happily, as many of you know, offer to be Santa Claus and have all the ladies of the Bridge Club queuing up to sit on his lap.

Dad was also always there for Mum to the point that she used to joke she was like the Queen and didn’t need or have to carry money.

For many years they have shared everything life can offer - together. They were a great team supporting each other in every way.

Dad was hard working, compassionate towards everyone, and deserved the success and rich life that he enjoyed.  He taught me many, many things but I think most importantly he gave us the ability to know that if you really put your mind to something, anything is possible, and never to be afraid to give anything a go.

His attention to detail and perfectionism was infectious and once in a while could get him into trouble. I will never forget when I came home one day proud as punch and declared she got 99% in a music exam.  He stupidly asked “what happened to the other 1%?”.  He never lived that down.

Despite these odd foot in the mouth moments or unfortunate slip ups Dad was incredibly practical and creative and I am so lucky that he passed on so much of his knowledge and skills to me.

It is of course always possible to look back and remember those times when things didn’t always go to plan. Like the time he tried teaching me about the mechanics of installing a new water pump on the pool, it wasn't until late during the night we could hear my dad's prized dogs outside howling which they never did, we walked out and found two floating in their beds around the patio furniture because the water pump overflowed the entire deck. Nobody can be perfect but Dad was as close to being the most perfect Dad anyone could have.

Dad's love was unconditional and this is something I will cherish from his character – and take with me forever. His kindness and generosity will be remembered by all who had the pleasure of knowing him.

I am humbled by my mothers’s strength over the past few days and her ability to focus on the amazing life she shared with my Dad and not dwell on what she has lost. Steve told her to live his life, to not dwell and to keep going even if it was hard.

I hope that through this I can find strength from her example and be there for her whenever she needs me. Now lets celebrate his life as he would have wanted us to, with a fine wine and a few good songs by a beautiful ocean view *I take my glass of wine up to toast the air as everyone was teared up around me* to you dad!

 #TBC



--- Used a very heartfelt eulogy found on internet that fit the story; not my work but edited to fit the story---

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