Chapter 4 - Part 4~ The Need for Revenge - A Remi Ryan Story

Part 4-

You would think with a girl like me and a guy like Nik, we would make for a happy ending. Like the ones you find in the fairy tales the guy rescues the damsel in distress. The girl falls deeply in love blah blah blah but it wasn’t like that and Nik definitely didn’t sweep me off my feet and make me his bride. No instead I was the girl looking in at his magic ending. An ending I craved but never got, that’s when things had to change. Nik had to see the pain all these years he had caused me; but reality it was the making of a monster consumed by the hate of a little girl never loved not even by her father. This loved that ultimately wanted revenge, and it wasn’t so much on nick it was the fact I didn’t get that happy ending I was always promised.

#Flashback

I was 21, drinking on my birthday no doubt. And man could I drink. I was the life of the party when I did, and drugs that was another story. I thought I had friends, hell I thought I was the life that kept the party going, but all people really saw me for was my family had money and they wanted in on any and everything my life could offer. And honestly I knew it deep inside I wasn’t the happy go lucky girl I could have been. Hell I could have had it all if I had my head on straight; but as people made their way in and out of my life they found only dollar signs sealed the deal. And in Steve’s book if he paid people to at least hang with me, he thought that depressed once girl could be the happy one he wanted me so much to be. But fat chance.

As the liquor kept pouring in I knew it was just another night to check off in my binge days. I knew people weren’t really there for me, and how I knew was I found a check made out to one of my best friends, or so I thought best friend, with a memo “being her friend” written on it. The night before my own birthday of all days. I thought hell I am living the life why not just throw it away now.

     With that I took my exit to the right of the bar, I was a bit intoxicated. I looked up in the cold raining distance from the Grille. A few lights lite up the street, but the sounds echoed coming from the north. The sirens already in the distance. It was a typical city night. Bums on the streets people fighting, the Gaslamp was off the hook.  I curled up my leather jackets lining across my neck standing up the collar with a sexual appeal and walked with a skip in my feet, my friends or whatever they were didn’t even take notice I had left my own birthday bash, and why would they, they were getting paid not really being there for me.

     The thought of the good old days made me reminisce as I walked through the bars. I thought my college days were the hype I had friends I had family but this whole time was a lie. A big fat lie.  The night was creeping upon me as I trailed the street. Each bar hoping from one to the next. The tears just started to fall, and I couldn’t stop them. As I turned a corner and pushed back some blonde hair a tall man came walking up with some people, all I could hear was laughing but he, as he brushed against my arm as I moved around them, could tell something was wrong and I could hear him say to the guys he was with “I will be right there just go inside,” as he walked up to me “hey are you okay?” It was the first time anyone really asked me that, I mean sure people do when they see people crying but I would hide myself from the world to not show the tears. From my mom, from Steve from my friends. But alone, alone I would cry. And here was this guy I didn’t know catch a glimpse of these tears and he was actually asking me if I was ok

   The sirens were still in the distance as I closed my eyes and tried to get a hold of myself. As Nik held my shoulders asking me if I was okay, my breathing became faint and I almost had a panic attack but Nik took me to the side and with one split second all I could feel was his lips on mine. My eyes closed as I took my hand to his cheek and kissed him, a kiss that felt passionate. I slipped from his lips and he smiled “sorry It’s the only thing I knew to help stop the panic attack,” “No no its okay, it actually,” I looked up “Felt nice”

That was the last good memory I had of Nik and I, Nik was a rich man and had so many parties. With me by his side it felt like the world was untouchable. He promised me a lot of things, wealth happiness unforgettable moments like our first time. It all seemed like it was in place but then, then the fights between us kept going. His demenor changed and he wasn’t the man I feel in love with, I tried to compete with the others and always flashy at his parties. From giving him sex whenever and wherever he wanted to blow jobs. It was like a dream fading away, another happy time in my life being ripped at the seams.

Then it was Jan 19^th, 2017. I was nervous and scared. I had forgotten to take my birth control, with all this partying Nik and I would do from the drinks to the flashing moments, it just escaped me. That day, well many days prior I had been feeling off and beside myself like something was off. I had stopped the drinking, and the drugs because something inside me was telling me to stop yelling at me from the insides out. We were supposed to be celebrating my degree but Nik wanted anything and everything to do to escape his own mind full of demons.

I had gone to the store before the big party, to of course get a few things needed. But something told me to get a test, to get it and just go through with taking it. What did I have to lose? I thought maybe if I was pregnant Nik would shape up and finally come to his senses. I felt off with him like maybe I wasn’t making him happy anymore.

I had taken the test as I was dressing for the party, it was the worst yet happiest moment of my life and I was pacing back and forth. The music was already blaring. I tried to put on my make up but with each brush on my cheek I could barely look at myself and more the test.

I sighed as I sat down grabbing the test. Finally after 3 minutes it showed……pregnant. I covered my mouth I was in complete shock. I had been dating Nik for a year and here we were already pregnant. I couldn’t contain my excitement. I wanted to shout it to the world.

As I was leaving my room and down to the big party area, there was nik. Then my heart sank. He was brushing a hair behind another blondes ear. I could tell that once loving look in his eyes he was smitten with him. I was furious, the only thing I could do was make a scene. I yelled out his name as the girl moved away and he rolled his eyes coming towards me.

He grabbed my arm and took me to the kitchen where push comes to shove, I ended up giving him a blow job. Little did I know he was eyeing her the whole time. It wasn’t my finest moments. And I couldn’t help but cry as he tried to push me away and go after her as she left.

That was the last time I saw nik. I never gave explanation, just a text bye and I had my stuff out of his place the next day. I was in my step dads home clinging to a pillow, how was I going to do this on my own with a baby, I was so scared but all I wanted was to get better to shape up and get away from the evil ways.

I made a pact that night, I wasn’t going to go down a path like my mother, like nik. I wanted to shape up and be the best I could for my own. I ended up telling my father about the baby. Steve was so happy he could help me, after so many years of pushing him away for any help he welcomed me with open arms to help me and to get help for my depression. I told steve I wanted to make something with my life.

#ThreeYearsLater

Here I was CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, had my own house I cleaned up sober and a beatutiful Boy named Nikko. I named him after Nik, even though I was hurt and pained by Nik He was my first love and Nikko deserved to know the happy loving father he could have been to him. I never thought in a million years I would run into Nik, but afterall San Diego was pretty decent in knowing the who and the where. Especially the rich people.

Nik was strolling into toys r us as I was finishing buying Nikko a birithday gift, and I couldn’t help but freeze in front of me was Nik, buying what looked to be a stroller. My heart dropped, the ring on his hand, the way he looked. It broke me. It broke me like you wouldn’t understand.

And then it happened…………….I wanted revenge