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Showing posts from July, 2020

Chapter 13- #RunningTheBusiness- Remi's Story

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***Warning, trigger warning drugs, rape*** #RunningTheBusiness *It was like no other Tuesday, meeting after meeting. It was like life didn’t stop. People were worrying in one way or another if their stocks would survive with me now being the one in charge, whether Steve chose the right person. I couldn’t help but just sit in each meeting, my hand over my mouth as I tapped my cheek, like could they not realize I was right there hearing each and every one of their turn me downs toward my character which came in question, did they not see I had my own firm where I ran it like a beast in an industry that change was inevitable and I still made it out with a crown on their head without one worry. I made it my job to take care of my people yet here these assholes were talking down to me like I couldn’t do it what because I was female? Because I was young compared to my father who had more experience just because of his years in the business, that I might ADD he helped me get into. Because I w

Just some thoughts written down

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Just some thoughts written down I have come to a realization, I am a people pleaser. I hate confrontation even when I know some things should be confronted. I typically give into what people want even though I know whatever I give into is hurting me in the end. I would rather have other happiness over my own. I get overwhelmed in my own thoughts, am I doing this right? Did I just hurt this person without really seeing what I have done. Do I overthink, over stress and over worry about things that I shouldn’t? yes. The answer is yes. The thoughts running through my head, from one way or another am I talking to someone others hate and then they hate you for doing so, guilty by association. Do you do something and by no means it hurts or makes someone see you in a different way and you wish with all your heart you could change it all, ya…that’s me I hate explaining how I feel because I have that mechanism that automatically puts up a guard and walls. I don’t tend to let man

Chapter 12- R-Rated, do not read if minor - Self Love- Remi's Story

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****Warning this solo is a little, R Rated**** I was alone, no one was home. My mom had my son again taking him on some African Safari adventure; I shook my head as I set the bottle of whiskey down with a half glass full of more whiskey than ice as I thought to myself that boy definitely was having the time of his life at only three. I felt it was the best, especially being around everything going on here and it was only fair. I tried keeping my mind off everything that had happened, from entertaining guests with meetings to my job and not having just one minute alone with myself; even taking it upon myself to enjoy some dates here and there with a few very nice gentlemen that each put me first above anything and that felt nice; but what I wanted in each I couldn’t help myself   wanting in each date was for long term and I couldn’t help but feel lonely when I came home alone. I wasn’t the type to just have sex right then, right there. There had to be connection and a spark some c

Chapter 11- Continued #Part 6 Background Story and Keeping busy part 4- Remi's Story

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Continued #Part 6 Background Story and Keeping busy part 4 *I am alright with a slow burn, because its okay I have a lot to learn. I know what I put myself into when it came to hash it out with Nik and his wife Mazi. I thought I had left everything behind me but when I saw Nik okay and happy I wanted that, I wanted that with him; but unfortunately, that wasn’t the case and I ultimately could have ended things between two amazing people. The type who are always there for you even in the rough times. I never knew love, but when I saw how much Nik loved Mazi and how much Mazi loved Nik, who was I to take a good thing away. It wasn’t fair just because I was alone and hurt more so not from them but from my own past. I knew I had a lot to make up for what I had done and a simple I am sorry wasn’t going to cut it. Above all #Nikko deserved more than what I was being. I gave all the apologizes I could, but I knew it was too late for myself, but not for #Nikko and the bond he coul

Chapter 10- #KeepingBusyPartThree- Remi's Story

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#KeepingBusyPartThree – when you feel alone, don’t just bottle it up; talk to someone. After the week I had already had, I felt I needed some time alone. To honor the memory of my father and to prepare what I had to do at his celebration of his life. He had asked in his will I make a speech or something that said he loved and lived his life well, even in death his memory will stay on. But writing down my thoughts paper after piece of paper it always ended up in the trash. So I knew I needed just some time. Some time to gather anything that I could to tell his story   As people were buzzing around, I stepped out the back porch of the mansion that faced the ocean cliffs. My assistant had taken care of what needed to get done around preparations and so many people were in and out fixing up the stage and party area, I didn’t want to get in the way. Left and right people were talkin’ bout his life, it made me warm and feel so much love people had for him. And when I say I needed out of

Chaptger 9- #KeeingBusyPartTwo- Remi's Story

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#KeeingBusyPartTwo *As I walked over with my tool box to the stage and started getting things rolling as I rolled my eyes with Daisy going on and on needed it to be fixed for the big celebration, and I don’t think she meant it to hurt me or even if she saw I was there but her attitude made me annoyed. I know I shouldn’t have been but when you step father or any loved one dies don’t make petty words about how things aren’t getting done. I wanted to slam the electrical box and set the tools down, that would show I was there listening, but with all these emotions from hate to hurt I just couldn’t let it out. I sighed as I looked in the distance I could see a few familiar faces and I walked to the side putting my hand over my eyes to block the sun. Daisy would not shut up so I cleared my throat, “excuse me for one second,” she couldn’t do much since I was the boss and just walked off, it wasn’t fair of her to act like this. I mean I know she was some big wig when it came to her singing a

Chapter 8- #KeepingBusyAfterAlLoss- Remi's Story

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KeepingBus y AfterAlLoss *The morning was already busy; I didn’t have one minute to myself. From Nikko going to daycare to the firm just up and down in many deals, after my absence I was lucky the company didn’t go down in the dumps without me here. It was like the good days when everyone was together Steve used to say. I guess because I really don’t remember much of it because of my depression getting to me lately, it just didn’t seem real; it was like my nightmares were becoming a reality and I was drowning. I tried to block many things in my life growing up but the good times, so I tried to hold to those being around my mom. I am not saying I always was in trouble but enough to try and move on and up from it. The last week had been a whirlwind of experiences, from a few amazing dates with different people I thought I was actually starting to live my life and be happy with myself; I wasn’t being tied down to an awful one-sided relationship I was actually meeting new people. And